Baby, you don’t understand.
That’s what I always want to tell you. I always put it in my mind. I always try not to reveal my feelings from my deep heart. I try my best to let you see an "always" me. I behave what you want me to behave. I dare not change suddenly. I dare not go further within our relationship, which you said it would be dangerous if I did it. But this time, I must tell you what I think in my mind immediately. Because I’m afraid I won’t have the opportunity to tell you in future.
Baby, you don’t understand who you are in my mind.
Baby, you don’t understand who I am in your mind.
Baby, you don’t understand why I am always concerned about you.
Baby, you don’t understand how much I miss you every day.
Baby, you don’t understand in my deep heart, there is an irreplaceable place for you.
Baby, you don’t understand you have meant something to me since we met the first time.
Baby, you don’t understand I’m worried about one day I will be what kind of person if without you.
There are a lot of "you don’t understand" that you don’t understand. Absolutely. And I must haven’t understood you a lot. Or I would be able to help you understand me.
I don’t know your status recently. I don’t know whether you are in a relationship with the same one or another, or even you are single for the time being. I don’t care. I just want to spend more seconds with you as possible as we can during the rest days before graduation. I’m sure this is not the last time we meet. We will be able to meet during our whole lifetime. We can contact each other. And I believe that we will keep in touch, just like what we did when holidays at university. However, contacting someone is different from meeting someone. I mean meeting you face to face and hand in hand. Do you understand? The fact is, I’m sure from now on, the times that we meet in real life will be fewer and fewer.
To my sadness, for this point above, you don’t understand, either. Sigh.
Last year, you asked me whether I had feelings for you in an unusual night when we chatted via IM. That night, we talked about some "deep" problems, including friendship, relationship and love. All of these were due to a few days before you told me you broke up with someone firmly and just a few hours before we chatted someone told me he saw you and someone embracing. I remembered that you asked me that question in English. I wasn’t very sure of your question. So I asked you to said it again in Chinese. But you just kept silent and never gave me a chance to speak it out. Why did you look forward to my answer? Had you know the answer in your mind? If you thought you had got the answer, what it was in your mind? I didn’t know what to answer you at that time. And I still don’t get the answer myself.
Now, when we nearly graduate, I won’t mean to talk about that troublesome problem. I won’t talk anything about relationship with you. You may not ask me about those things. We both don’t want to make us get into an embarrassing situation. We have already agreed on that point. We both know breaking the ice unilaterally is dangerous. We both try our best to keep everything between us unchanged. So, during the days before we graduate, I will treat you as a friend, a best friend. In fact, I do it all the times. Please trust me.
So why don’t you reply to me? I sent you many short messages. But you didn’t reply. I need your response, baby. I don’t know what you are doing these days. I don’t know whether you are busy.
It seems you are the second person who didn’t reply to my SMS. For any other who doesn’t reply, I don’t care. It means little to me. But for you, it means a lot. It seems you get used to keeping silent sometimes when I contact you.
Since you didn’t reply to my message, I thought you got something wrong. And I began to worry about you, even your safety. But now, it seems not. You are safe. After seeing you online, I knew you were fine. But I don’t understand why you don’t talk to me. Now that you have free time to play online games, you should be fine and could be able to talk to me. Why?
You don’t know how much I care about you. You don’t know how much I cherish you. You don’t know how much I want to see you. You don’t know how much I want to talk to you. You don’t know how much I wish to give you a hug before graduation. You just do nothing. I would rather believe it’s because your slipshod character and personality. I can’t imagine what I will do if you really mean to do it. Maybe you don’t understand you mean a lot to me.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t give me such a farewell. Baby, you don’t understand, do you?