In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.



After a whole night’s train travel, I got home this morning. Everything has changed through a dark night. Just less than 24 hours passed, now what I see is not the same as yesterday. I changed. She changed. Everyone changed, in fact.

Yesterday, I was still walking on the campus as a graduate. I was still living in Beijing. I was still talking with my friends. But today, now, I’m home. I’m not a college student any more. From now on, I have to get used to live in another city. Although I’m not willing to accept everything seen in my eyes, I have no choice. It’s clearly that I can’t get back. I wish I could do that. But obviously, I could just make that stay in my dream. All those days and things have been memories. I know I can recollect those memories. Whether those memories in my brain are sweet or not, I’m sure I will recall some of them on some days.To my sadness, I can’t continue my memories. They are just memories. They won’t go on.

So I have to say "Farewell". When I wrote the title "Farewell" here, I was trying my best to keep me from thinking about what farewell is. I chose to say farewell here, not in the place where we were just because I wouldn’t control my tears if I had done that yesterday when I left. No one would like to talk about farewell. No one wished farewell to come. We were staring at farewell approaching.

Now it comes eventually. Farewell has been the fact.

"Is this our farewell?", I asked myself at times. Maybe not. But the fact is, there’s nothing but silence now. I’m alone in my life. I think I am. You can see the sadness in my eyes. I feel so lost now when you’re not by my side. I’m worry too much.

Did we have no time say goodbye. Of course we did. But we didn’t say goodbye seriously. We didn’t give each other a farewell in arms. I didn’t kiss you goodbye, either. Instead, we were just saying"I’m about to leave". We didn’t cry or express being sad. To us, it seemed nothing happened.

So, this is our farewell. But within our diction, there’s no farewell.


Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

3 thoughts on “Farewell

  1. 可以理解你的心情~!

  2. all will be ok,

  3. 不要难过了,更不要流眼泪…

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