In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.


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Don’t Mess with My Love

  http://www.estvideo.com/dew/media/dewplayer.swf?son=http://www.x769.com/mp3/lver.mp3&autoplay=no&loop=yes

I’m feeling that I’ve been trapped with a mess. Something could send me a mess. So could someone. Everything around me is in a situation of disorder. I can strongly feel it.

Everyday, I have been beaten by boring work. I’m really very tired, mentally and physically. I’m exhausted, nearly. However, I still “want” to get into some other affairs. Apparently, those affairs are impossible to see them come true. It’s impossible. But I still mean them. I always waste time on hard people and things. I always convey hot temperature to someone who doesn’t do it as much as you.

Unilateral devotion, I found a proper phrase. This unfair missing style would do unfairly to that person, many say. But I couldn’t blame anyone except myself. No one asked me to fall into it. I did it myself.

I wanted to stop to contact someone via SMS or phone calling, even if for one day. But the fact told me once and once again, I can’t do that. It’s too hard. Without any response, I’m more eager to get it clear. So, I’m hurting myself. Is it suicide?

How should one go to find the other right one? Where the hell she is?

If you were, you would tell me seriously, wouldn’t you? Please don’t torture me. I never played with this kind of things. I’m always serious. You can see it in my eyes.

What were you doing? Show me a message. Let me feel it.

What is imagination? And what is reality then? What is it between us? What do you treat it as? What’s your difference?

Someone a little help! I’m scared of waiting and guessing. That’s suffering.

Now, at this very time, I wish the childhood could stay still. Then I wouldn’t need to make life complex.

I’ve lost a lot.

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Saying Nothing

Sorry, I’m so tired. I have been exhausted, I think. I can feel that.

Sorry, I haven’t written something seriously for a long time. I don’t know what Space entry is now.

Everything changed since the day of February 23rd. It leaded my life to another kind of situation. I’m trapped. I’m depressed.

I’m busy.

I’m burdensome.

What can I do now?

When will I write next entry?


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Happy Birthday

When 9 o’clock comes, on February 19th in Chinese lunar calendar, I say Happy Birthday to you.

It’s your 23rd birthday. 23 years of life belongs to you. Those memories, sweet or sad ones, all belong to you.

Now they are all gone with the sunrise and sunset we see every day. A new day has come to you.

Whatever it takes, be happy and positive.

Come to feel my best wishes here.