In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.


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Try the New Editing Function

First of all, I just got a little discovery seconds ago. I opened the WordPress APP without any help of VPN.  Unbelievable! Is the WordPress website able to be visited directly and free in China? I plan to try it several times during the following days. 

It’s in midsummer.  I don’t konw how to go through these ugly days. The air temperatures are both high indoors and outdoors, in the daytime and at night. Luckily, we have the air-conditioner. 

I still like the combination of MSN and Space. They let us not only write, but also talk. Now posting on WordPress is like writing articles alone.  I don’t like it. 

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Want Updates Again

It’s been nearly three years since the last entry published.  It’s a long time. 

A few hours ago, I opened the WordPress App with the help of VPN when I was taking the subway.  And there was an interlude that I lost the password. This kind of things doesn’t happen frequently.  Fortunately, I succeeded to reset the password within my registered E-mail. It indicates that I didn’t really log in to the site for a long time.  

Now I want everything here back to normal.  From now on, I will try my best to write posts and publish here frequently. 


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Graduation

After several days of waiting, I finally come to the day of graduation. It means the ending of my master study. I won’t be a student anymore. Though I haven’t find a job.

Now I have cleaned up the dormitory and will take all the baggage home. Maybe I won’t get back to this place again. I have to say Goodbye to the two years I spent here.

It has been raining heavily the whole day. And the temperature is too high. The sweat and rainwater make my clothes wet. It’s not comfortable.

Luckily, it won’t take too long to go home. I will be home in three hours. And then, a new chapter of my life will get started.

Thank you, everyone. Best wishes for all of us!


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About to Graduate

After one month, I will graduate from the university. Once getting the diploma, I will have to leave the campus and start a new journey. Though I still don’t know which way the journey will be going on.

Till now, I don’t have any offer for a job. I’m struggling for few opportunities in the last month. Maybe I would get a job before graduation. Maybe or not. That’s beyond my determination.

The day is getting hot and I become upset. Sometimes, I asked myself that the decision I made two years ago was right or not. If I continued working in the bank, what position would I get today? Are the two studying years worth? Could a master diploma take more to my life? Or it’s just a certificate. Maybe I made a mistake. Because one can’t easily get a job only with the help of a master degree. The competition is more and more fierce, while positions are decreasing. I demanded too much.

During the rest months of this year I will take other examinations and try my best to get a nice job in first-tier cities. Salaries and social status are both my concern. I like urban life style.

Suddenly, I’m getting feared of graduation.

Graduation is not always exciting. It doesn’t mean a perfect ending, but a new starting line.


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First Entry in This New Year

The new year of 2013 comes. It’s my last year of the master degree study. I’ll still be here of almost six month. Then I’ll graduate and work for one employer that is unknown at present. I’m struggling for the employer.

Before leaving the university, I want to get three things done. They are, being a Party member, getting the master degree and finding a good position to work in. Last December, I became a probationary Party member successfully. And I’ve begun to write my thesis. Graduation on time is not difficult. Now the only problem I worry about is the offer.

I have to get the offer before June. I’m not selecting the offer, but looking for an offer. It makes me nervous. I don’t know what to do during the coming winter holidays. I’m sure I won’t be happy though it’s the holiday.

Some people say I ask for too much about the salaries. Maybe they are right. I’m not excellent enough. I shouldn’t care a lot about the position level. Positions are limited. Neither are graduates. I must be clear about that. Then I need to take every chance as possible as I can. I could have a job.

Which day will I get the notice of an offer?


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Still Here

I haven’t been here for several months. Because I couldn’t focus on writing something. After hundreds of entries posted, I don’t know what else I can tell here. I wouldn’t like to keep diaries here. They must be meaningful. They are not just sentences.

I’ve come to the last year of my graduate student study program. Now the biggest trouble for me is a job. I have to find a nice job before graduation in next June. The reality is, master students are everywhere, but positions are limited.  If you want to get a job with high salaries and ranking, you will compete with so many people who are as excellent as you. Maybe there’re one thousand people fighting for one position.

Students from top universities are not few. If you want to live in big cities, work in big organizations and get high salaries, you have to be the most excellent one. You have to beat other top students.

I don’t know how long the hunting days will last. Maybe a few months, maybe half a year. Who knows?

I’ve decided that during the following months, I won’t watch movies on the Internet. I’ll make preparations for all tests and interviews.

GOOD LUCK to myself.


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Where Is My Internship

The summer holidays began from the end of last month. But I didn’t go home or travel to some places. I chose to stay at the university for seeking an intern position.

It’s very hot at the moment in this city. You know it’s difficult to make such a decision. Every day I wear a suit and go out to a company. Every night I sit on a hard chair and stay up for the whole night. Because it’s too hot to fall asleep. We don’t have any air-conditioning devices but a small fan. Usually, it’s not very useful.

So, I’m waiting for a dream.

Till now, there’s no evidence that the offer is coming. I don’t even have an interview. E-mail letters were sent, but haven’t been replied to. I’m nearly exhausted.

I don’t want high salaries. I don’t want a high level position. I just need a chance to get the feeling of working in the office back. I’m not greedy. I can do things as well as your formal employees. But why don’t you give a chance?

I can’t wait a long time any more. Next week, when the hottest days come, I will give up if no admission comes.

I’d better go home and enjoy cool nights.


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Untouchable Internship Offer

I will graduate in next summer. So I have to work as an intern during this summer holidays. Before I made preparations, I thought it’s not difficult to get a internship position. Because I thought it’s just a part-time job.

But the facts tell me I was completely wrong. Getting an internship offer is as difficult as seeking for employment. You have to compete with so many people. So many competitors fight for few positions. Even undergraduate students will join an interview with Ph. D. candidates. And the requirement from the employer is very high. CET-6, scholarships, posted papers, and even a Party membership will be needed. Of course, payment is low. Interns rush to work as cheap labors. That’s the fact.

Every evening I browse employment websites in order to find more information. After finding a position which is proper to me, I send my resume and then keep waiting. Unfortunately, few replies come to me. My education background and banking experiences can’t give me a chance for interview. It’s a heavy shock to me. Now I’m thinking about the reasons and then try to make some improvements. No matter what will happen next, I have to get an internship offer this summer.

Tomorrow I will send the application to more companies.


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Why We Don’t Have the Top Universities of the World

Since 1998, the speech of President Jiang on the 100th anniversary of Peking University, the Ministry of Education of China decided to implement the 985 Project. The Project is to support some China’s universities to become top and high-level in the world. Now there are 39 universities on the list. And of course, these countries are the most famous one in Mainland China.

China has the largest population in the world. And its GDP and area are in the first several. Statistics of China are good in many aspects. However, China’s education development is not as perfect as its economy. China doesn’t own a top university like Harvard University. China’s universities drop behind on the world universities ranking. That means a big problem. So China is so eager to own some top universities.

That’s why the 985 Project was born. But could the Project make the ideal be reality?

First of all, we should figure it out why we don’t have a top university. That’s the key question. Then we could know how to construct a top university.

More and more universities and officials say their universities will be constructed as a top university. But we all know that’s just a slogan. Education needs doers, not politicians. Meetings, files and slogans are not necessary. We just need to do everything needed. We should construct a university as the module what it should be. Without spirits of universities, universities wouldn’t be true. If we don’t settle the deep contradiction, it will be very difficult to establish a top university.

And we should also know that construction of universities needs time. Nobody can give a schedule. For a political reason, many presidents release an exact time-table about what time their universities will become top. It’s very utilitarian and not practical.

When the Project became a political movement, it would be a failure. And after spending a lot of money and effort, the Project wouldn’t do good to China’s education system. No one wants to see that day come.

A few months ago, I wrote an essay to talk about reasons that China doesn’t have a top university. Actually, people know these reasons. But no one can change it. It has something to do with the systems. That’s what I’m worried about most.

Without top universities, we can’t say our education is successful. Without top universities, we can’t stop our genius students go abroad for study. Without top universities, we can’t make the country strong permanently.

The day when universities on the list below are the top ones in the world, then China is really a strong and powerful country. Perhaps, I could wait for that day.


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See You Again

It’s very excited to see you tonight. We have been separated for a year. Though the distances of our cities isn’t very long or we have enough time to travel, we are just like losing contact. I miss you every day. For some reasons, I thought it’s not proper to call you frequently. I was completely wrong. Because just now you told me that you expected the phone calls all the time. I’m sad for not understanding you. I’m sorry for that. But I’m happy that you still need me in your mind.

For me, there are two different pieces of news tonight. Good news is that you come to the city which I’m currently in. We are so lucky! And bad news is that you got married and held the wedding several days ago. That day came at last. I’m just not willing to hear of it.

You know what? When you appeared in front of me suddenly, I didn’t recognize you. I couldn’t believe it’s true even when you hugged me softly. I didn’t believe that you would get to me right here, right now. Holding your shoulders, touching your hair and feeling your breath, I found it’s really you. The body and your smile are still familiar to me. I was not dreaming.

Thanks to the microblog service. Just a comment after I posted a sentence that told I was drinking in a bar, we got in touch again. We went together to that bar for many times. You must remember that. After you left more than a year ago, I still went there at times. But without you, I just drowned my sorrows in wine. I always want to tell you that I miss you.

Finally, tonight, you run to me. We seated by the river and talked out of our minds. We know we still care about each other. We can still feel the other’s heart. When you talked, I just gazed at your eyes and touched your hair. I could feel your feelings.

I was clear that you was not mine and you had to return. So I was sober that I didn’t hold you in my arms and stopped you leaving. When you left for the hotel, you turned around to see me again. I knew you didn’t want to leave me, either. But for tomorrow, we had to control ourselves. I knew you wished I could hold your hand and hugged you tightly. Sorry. We both knew I couldn’t.

For tomorrow and the days after tomorrow, I only wish you happiness full of your life. And I took a picture of the place where we met. It will be my beautiful memory.