In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

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On Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, what are we doing? And what should we do?
Besides saying

I dare to say, we Chinese people have a complex mood when we fall across Christmas Day. Various, tanglesome and even a bit painful feelings exist in our mind. In such a non-English-speaking and non-Christian country, we don’t know what to do when western festivals come. We are confused.

Yesterday we took CET-6. Obviously, it’s my last CET experience. I’m sure of it. I can’t suffer this boring examination any more. Just for more points, we came into the examination room when the sun was shining; then we went out of the room when the night was falling. I called this process as from heaven to hell. Isn’t it?

The last part of this test is writing a short essay about the celebration of western festivals. It’s an easy article, but I didn’t finish it perfectly. That’s because I didn’t have enough time to complete it.

As is known to all, with the Reform and Opening-up, we have to face more and more foreign things. No matter we accept or receive them, one point we can make sure of is that we can refuse them. Such as the prevalent celebration of western festivals. Lots of reasons are responsible for it. Young generation is exposed to the international minds or trends. Meanwhile, western views have been spread widely, naturally and culturally. People have their own rights to taste various cultures. Now people may celebrate festivals they like besides the conventional. And commercial promotion, too. I don’t know whether this indicates the progress of modern times in mainland China or not.

We have to admit that we have shown more and more weakness in the culture shock between Chinese origin culture and western culture. We throw away many things that we should treasure up forever. Also we take in many things belonging to others. Unfortunately, we don’t digest them well. Then distortion appears. This country is not what it should be, this government does not do what it should do, and people can’t get what they should get. What awful state it is!

Out of question, we have some trouble. I like to be international, but I don’t like to live in an inhuman environment.

So let it be.

By the way, tonight how much GDP will be created in Beijing? Who knows?


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Surprised & Desperate

I am surprised.

I am desperate.

Since there’s something wrong with Windows Live Spaces.

The Spaces service has made me crazy. I can’t login my Space successfully. The page can’t be visited since the middle ten days of November. After several days, this website could be opened. But it seemed that there were some problems. The page existed there, as it’s destroyed somehow. The pictures, the colour, and the frames, they were all changed. Furthermore, the Space couldn’t be edited. Hence, I couldn’t add any entry.

Why? I wonder the reasons that Windows Live Spaces can’t be visited in the place where I live. What’s the real problem? The Network? Just can’t be done on BNU campus? Who knows?

Every day I click the quick launch icon many times in MSN messenger. But the right background and fonts only appeared three times. Oh, my God! It makes me confused. The only thing that I could do is just browsing the fragmentized page. I have no idea that how long this situation will last.

I am afraid that people are curious about my not updating my Space in such long time. What a pity! Maybe I have been misunderstood. However, I can’t tell them this bad condition here.

Last year some told me that they couldn’t open their Spaces occasionally. I didn’t believe it at that time. But now, it really happens to me, to myself. That’s funny.

I have to publish my entries.

I have to read others’ Spaces.

I have to make my heart shown.

I have to live in my own way.

I support Spaces confirmedly since it was born. Nevertheless, at this time I’m fooled. Obviously, I have many complaints. I need satisfaction. No matter whose fault it is, I wish my Space to be fine. Microsoft should fulfil its obligation for customers. So should COINT of BNU.

It appears that I have been awaiting my doom. Anyway, I’ll try my best. For the words & heart.

As you know, one sentence in songs of Celine Dion, “I’ll be waiting for you here inside my heart”.