In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

Baby, You Don’t Understand

23 Comments

Baby, you don’t understand.

That’s what I always want to tell you. I always put it in my mind. I always try not to reveal my feelings from my deep heart. I try my best to let you see an "always" me. I behave what you want me to behave. I dare not change suddenly. I dare not go further within our relationship, which you said it would be dangerous if I did it. But this time, I must tell you what I think in my mind immediately. Because I’m afraid I won’t have the opportunity to tell you in future.

Baby, you don’t understand who you are in my mind.

Baby, you don’t understand who I am in your mind.

Baby, you don’t understand why I am always concerned about you.

Baby, you don’t understand how much I miss you every day.

Baby, you don’t understand in my deep heart, there is an irreplaceable place for you.

Baby, you don’t understand you have meant something to me since we met the first time.

Baby, you don’t understand I’m worried about one day I will be what kind of person if without you.

There are a lot of "you don’t understand" that you don’t understand. Absolutely. And I must haven’t understood you a lot. Or I would be able to help you understand me.

I don’t know your status recently. I don’t know whether you are in a relationship with the same one or another, or even you are single for the time being. I don’t care. I just want to spend more seconds with you as possible as we can during the rest days before graduation. I’m sure this is not the last time we meet. We will be able to meet during our whole lifetime. We can contact each other. And I believe that we will keep in touch, just like what we did when holidays at university. However, contacting someone is different from meeting someone. I mean meeting you face to face and hand in hand. Do you understand? The fact is, I’m sure from now on, the times that we meet in real life will be fewer and fewer.

To my sadness, for this point above, you don’t understand, either. Sigh.

Last year, you asked me whether I had feelings for you in an unusual night when we chatted via IM. That night, we talked about some "deep" problems, including friendship, relationship and love. All of these were due to a few days before you told me you broke up with someone firmly and just a few hours before we chatted someone told me he saw you and someone embracing. I remembered that you asked me that question in English. I wasn’t very sure of your question. So I asked you to said it again in Chinese. But you just kept silent and never gave me a chance to speak it out. Why did you look forward to my answer? Had you know the answer in your mind? If you thought you had got the answer, what it was in your mind? I didn’t know what to answer you at that time. And I still don’t get the answer myself.

Now, when we nearly graduate, I won’t mean to talk about that troublesome problem. I won’t talk anything about relationship with you. You may not ask me about those things. We both don’t want to make us get into an embarrassing situation. We have already agreed on that point. We both know breaking the ice unilaterally is dangerous. We both try our best to keep everything between us unchanged. So, during the days before we graduate, I will treat you as a friend, a best friend. In fact, I do it all the times. Please trust me.

So why don’t you reply to me? I sent you many short messages. But you didn’t reply. I need your response, baby. I don’t know what you are doing these days. I don’t know whether you are busy.

It seems you are the second person who didn’t reply to my SMS. For any other who doesn’t reply, I don’t care. It means little to me. But for you, it means a lot. It seems you get used to keeping silent sometimes when I contact you.

Since you didn’t reply to my message, I thought you got something wrong. And I began to worry about you, even your safety. But now, it seems not. You are safe. After seeing you online, I knew you were fine. But I don’t understand why you don’t talk to me. Now that you have free time to play online games, you should be fine and could be able to talk to me. Why?

You don’t know how much I care about you. You don’t know how much I cherish you. You don’t know how much I want to see you. You don’t know how much I want to talk to you. You don’t know how much I wish to give you a hug before graduation. You just do nothing. I would rather believe it’s because your slipshod character and personality. I can’t imagine what I will do if you really mean to do it. Maybe you don’t understand you mean a lot to me.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t give me such a farewell. Baby, you don’t understand, do you?

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Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

23 thoughts on “Baby, You Don’t Understand

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  2. Only time will tell…

  3. u will be fine…someone is waiting for u somewhere… go travel, have a deep breath, then come back and look forward!!

  4. 感觉你好长时间都没有来了!歌曲好熟啊,以前谁用过哦~

  5. 应该就是。。。

  6. maybe she understand…god bless you~

  7. 无意回归自己的空间看到你曾来踩过,我也来踩踩
     
    天,为什么最近总听到DYING IN THE SUN ,就算不是歌也总是听到这个名字被人提起

  8. Love is the hardest journey of all. Its joyous and painful and worth every second of it. You know how i have struggled with my relationship and today I can say, appreciate te struggles. And today we have spent the day laying around, listening to music, cuddling our baby dog and each other…the rocky journey has been worth it. Yours will be too. patience. wether its her or another, your love will come and you will feel the comfort and joy of having love in your arms and by your side. Listen to the song "hold on loosely". I think by Foriegner.

  9. 人生就这么两件事:
    If you love sb just tell her. If you dream sth just do it!
    你和我的一个朋友长得好像,也许是幻觉吧:)
    Good Luck!

  10. 人生就这么两件事:
    If you love sb just tell her. If you dream sth just do it!
    你和我的一个朋友长得好像,也许是幻觉吧:)
    Good Luck!

  11. love her, so tell hernot hard, just 3 word "我爱你"- the simplest thing in the worldgood luck^^

  12. 感谢访问好运

  13. 好运~!这些话应该直接发到那个你想的人的邮箱里~!男人要有勇气~!

  14. i hope she knows what you said

  15. ……………………..弱弱的问下..你空间里怎么添加这么多歌曲- –

  16. ……………………..弱弱的问下..你空间里的歌叫什么- –

  17. OMG..>< dying in the sun
    sooooo sad….
    这篇应该弄个副标题就叫P.S. I LVU U

  18. 看到你写的这些心情,真的和我当初好像,我很能理解你现在的想法和心情。但是或许现在的你会觉得不甘心,想弄个清楚,但是等再过段时间或许就没有那么强烈的想要怎么样了,只会为对方祝福,祈祷。希望你能走出这段阴影吧,我的他也已经离我而去了,我知道他不想伤害我但是我也不想伤害他,他明年研究生毕业而我已经工作,当时在学校的时候说过的话都没有再去想过了、我也很喜欢他,是我的初恋直到现在为止我还是没有变过,他打过电话给我,发过信息给我,但是我知道必须面对现实,我也知道我应该怎么做。

  19. Intelligence people to the depths of loneliness!!  放爱一条生路.爱一个人,只要默默去守护.

  20. I know it is quite frustrating when someone you really cares stops answering your messages, but that is not right keeping on sending her things over and over. Why not give her some space and let her think it over? Maybe you would say there is not much time left! Well, that could not be the excuse for your "bothering"(sorry for using the word). Just let the girl decide for herself, you know your actions actually won\’t effect her "verdict" (girls are quite cruel in some cases. So are guys).
     
    Anyway, I always hope things click between you and this lucky girl and life opens out an amazingly brand new beginning as your graduation coming.

  21. 看完你全篇全篇的babe U don\’t understand,总算明白了你的朦胧,尽管我不是当事人,我都觉得非常touching,也可能是当局者迷旁观者清吧,不知道她会不会看到,替你祈祷她看到,哈哈Just be a brave boY!

  22. 我也来踩一下
    DYING IN THE SUN 我喜欢的歌

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