In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.


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Still Here

I haven’t been here for several months. Because I couldn’t focus on writing something. After hundreds of entries posted, I don’t know what else I can tell here. I wouldn’t like to keep diaries here. They must be meaningful. They are not just sentences.

I’ve come to the last year of my graduate student study program. Now the biggest trouble for me is a job. I have to find a nice job before graduation in next June. The reality is, master students are everywhere, but positions are limited.  If you want to get a job with high salaries and ranking, you will compete with so many people who are as excellent as you. Maybe there’re one thousand people fighting for one position.

Students from top universities are not few. If you want to live in big cities, work in big organizations and get high salaries, you have to be the most excellent one. You have to beat other top students.

I don’t know how long the hunting days will last. Maybe a few months, maybe half a year. Who knows?

I’ve decided that during the following months, I won’t watch movies on the Internet. I’ll make preparations for all tests and interviews.

GOOD LUCK to myself.


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Untouchable Internship Offer

I will graduate in next summer. So I have to work as an intern during this summer holidays. Before I made preparations, I thought it’s not difficult to get a internship position. Because I thought it’s just a part-time job.

But the facts tell me I was completely wrong. Getting an internship offer is as difficult as seeking for employment. You have to compete with so many people. So many competitors fight for few positions. Even undergraduate students will join an interview with Ph. D. candidates. And the requirement from the employer is very high. CET-6, scholarships, posted papers, and even a Party membership will be needed. Of course, payment is low. Interns rush to work as cheap labors. That’s the fact.

Every evening I browse employment websites in order to find more information. After finding a position which is proper to me, I send my resume and then keep waiting. Unfortunately, few replies come to me. My education background and banking experiences can’t give me a chance for interview. It’s a heavy shock to me. Now I’m thinking about the reasons and then try to make some improvements. No matter what will happen next, I have to get an internship offer this summer.

Tomorrow I will send the application to more companies.


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Too Tired

Am I too tired?

I have no idea of that. I just know I can feel pain on the back, waist, shoulder and legs when I finish daily work every day. Sometimes, I think I’m nearly exhausted. I don’t feel very well.

Every morning, I have to get up early before half past six and then get to the office before twenty to eight. The regular morning meeting is held at that time. I must sign in and attend the meeting on time. If late, 10 yuan will be deducted at a time. What’s more, I’ll give my superior a "bad" me. In a word, I can’t be late.

Formal work time is from eight 0’clock to half past five in the afternoon. Because I just began to work a few days ago and don’t have a specific position, so I may be told to do anything. Mental work or manual work — anything is possible. This Friday afternoon, I was told to substitute for a lobby manager. Wearing leather shoes and standing for several hours is too painful for me. You must never know my feet were bleeding because of it.

I haven’t get used to the current working style yet. I haven’t get used to wearing suits and working for a whole day. I haven’t get used to communicate with workmates and clients. There’re so many things that I don’t get used to. I guess that must be the reason of my being tired.

I’m working in a building with elevators and air-conditioning devices. And no one lets me carry heavy things. But I still feel tired. I still feel painful. I don’t know how it comes on earth.

Maybe some days later, when I get used to my job, I’ll never be too tired. And all pains on my body will be gone.

 


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Confused Days

To me, a man who will start his career, confused days still go on.

To my surprise, I haven’t been on duty formally. On the contrary, I’m participating another training program after the orientation training. It means I’m still being trained. I will go on standing everyday living without the Internet and urban liveliness. It’s a little bit difficult.

It seems that these confused days will be over in around two weeks. Then I’ll go back and begin to work as a real professional man. It will be also difficult to me when that day really comes. I’m sure of its trouble.

Now I just wish the confused days would elapse soon.


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Trapped in Training Period

I haven’t logged in MSN and Live Spaces for several days. That’s because I’m trapped in a training period.
 
For the time being, I’m joining the training program which is held by my employer in the rural area. Everything here is fine. The only thing puzzling me is there is no network connection here. That means I can’t read any E-mail, use IM servcice or browse news websites. It really hurts me a lot.
 
Fortunately, I’m using a mobile phone which has a function of GPRS network sevice. So I can use GPRS to connect the Internet via my phone. It will take me some extra cost. But it will delight me more. I can’t stand daily life without the Internet. Even if one day.
 
Now I’m writing my entry with the help of Windows Live Messenger client on my mobile device. I wish the ugly days would go quickly.


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About to Be on Board

After waiting and staying home for nearly a month, now I’m about to be on board.

This afternoon, I had a meeting in the company which I will work in. In the meeting, we subscribed our names to the labour contract. And we were noticed that which subbranch we were allocated to. Thank goodness! I was allocated to a downtown subbranch, which is the largest one within all provincial subbranches. I was too lucky!

I won’t need to worry whether I will be allocated to a suburban place. I’m very excited now. So are the family. That’s because this allocated result is beyond my expectation. Several hours ago, I just wished I would work in any downtown place. It’s a big surprise.

Tomorrow, I’ll go to the subbranch which I was allocated to to check in with a letter of introduction. Then I will begin to be on duty.

So tomorrow may be my first formal working day. Hope everything will be fine.


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Offer

Offer, where is my offer?

This is a question I want to know urgently these days. And I also want to know who can give me an offer. It’s clearly that an offer is the most valuable thing I want now. I urge it.

These days, I have been working hard to look for someone or an employee that can give me an offer. I really tried. And believe me I will continue to try. I hope more companies could give me more opportunities. And I also work hard to grasp opportunities. But now, for the time being, the problem is it seems there are not many companies who are willing to help me. They even don’t give me a chance.

Why? I have been thinking about it. And I also asked many people so as to find the answer. I need to know the reasons. I don’t know what employees think in their mind. Every time when I want to get the answer, I always stare at my resume. I try to find something in it.

Is there something wrong or not very proper in my resume? Or do I make mistakes in the resume? Unfortunately, I found no direct mistakes. But how did those HR managers exclude me? It must contain some obvious factors.

"Yes," I said to myself. After many times’ checking and thinking, I think I do find something.

Firstly, it’s on account of my name. You mustn’t believe that most Chinese people don’t know my given name. Even many teachers who teach Chinese don’t know my name. They don’t know the pronunciation and meaning of the characters within my name. Then they don’t know how to type it in the computer. So, even if the HR staff think I’m qualified and want to give me a chance, I still receive no interview or aptitude test notice. Because they can’t speak it out on the phone or type it out in the computer.

Secondly, the relationship of my university and major gives people an optical illusion. They think my university shouldn’t own a department like mine. They tell themselves according to what they see from the name of my university. Maybe they regard my university as a famous and excellent university. But they don’t have the same opinion when treating my major. In their eyes, if my department really existed, it would be a little bit bad. Actually, the fact is that my department really exists in my university. And it’s good. It’s just young if judged by the year when it was founded and will certainly have a promising future. It makes me somewhat angry. I just want to tell them, if you judge something only by its name, you will find you are wrong at last. You don’t know what my university is and who I am. But you are unknown about your wrong judgement.

Thirdly, HR staff can’t search out many shining points in my resume. I didn’t get any scholarship at university. I’m not the Party member. I didn’t have a high level in Students’ Union. I didn’t publish papers. I didn’t have an internship in a big company or organization. I didn’t take part in many social activities. But this is what I am. I am what I am. I am one of a kind.

I still believe I’m not a man that contributes nothing on the earth. I can do and will something for the employee if employed. And I also have some strong points which others don’t have. I’m "useful". I’m not a giant and most of us not. But I can be a talent of what I do.

Now I’m sitting in front of the computer. I’m trying to find some useful employment information. Browsing the webpages about other people’s interview experience, I couldn’t help thinking about my offer again. I wish I could see my offer soon. It’d better be tomorrow.