In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.


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Untouchable Internship Offer

I will graduate in next summer. So I have to work as an intern during this summer holidays. Before I made preparations, I thought it’s not difficult to get a internship position. Because I thought it’s just a part-time job.

But the facts tell me I was completely wrong. Getting an internship offer is as difficult as seeking for employment. You have to compete with so many people. So many competitors fight for few positions. Even undergraduate students will join an interview with Ph. D. candidates. And the requirement from the employer is very high. CET-6, scholarships, posted papers, and even a Party membership will be needed. Of course, payment is low. Interns rush to work as cheap labors. That’s the fact.

Every evening I browse employment websites in order to find more information. After finding a position which is proper to me, I send my resume and then keep waiting. Unfortunately, few replies come to me. My education background and banking experiences can’t give me a chance for interview. It’s a heavy shock to me. Now I’m thinking about the reasons and then try to make some improvements. No matter what will happen next, I have to get an internship offer this summer.

Tomorrow I will send the application to more companies.

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Why We Don’t Have the Top Universities of the World

Since 1998, the speech of President Jiang on the 100th anniversary of Peking University, the Ministry of Education of China decided to implement the 985 Project. The Project is to support some China’s universities to become top and high-level in the world. Now there are 39 universities on the list. And of course, these countries are the most famous one in Mainland China.

China has the largest population in the world. And its GDP and area are in the first several. Statistics of China are good in many aspects. However, China’s education development is not as perfect as its economy. China doesn’t own a top university like Harvard University. China’s universities drop behind on the world universities ranking. That means a big problem. So China is so eager to own some top universities.

That’s why the 985 Project was born. But could the Project make the ideal be reality?

First of all, we should figure it out why we don’t have a top university. That’s the key question. Then we could know how to construct a top university.

More and more universities and officials say their universities will be constructed as a top university. But we all know that’s just a slogan. Education needs doers, not politicians. Meetings, files and slogans are not necessary. We just need to do everything needed. We should construct a university as the module what it should be. Without spirits of universities, universities wouldn’t be true. If we don’t settle the deep contradiction, it will be very difficult to establish a top university.

And we should also know that construction of universities needs time. Nobody can give a schedule. For a political reason, many presidents release an exact time-table about what time their universities will become top. It’s very utilitarian and not practical.

When the Project became a political movement, it would be a failure. And after spending a lot of money and effort, the Project wouldn’t do good to China’s education system. No one wants to see that day come.

A few months ago, I wrote an essay to talk about reasons that China doesn’t have a top university. Actually, people know these reasons. But no one can change it. It has something to do with the systems. That’s what I’m worried about most.

Without top universities, we can’t say our education is successful. Without top universities, we can’t stop our genius students go abroad for study. Without top universities, we can’t make the country strong permanently.

The day when universities on the list below are the top ones in the world, then China is really a strong and powerful country. Perhaps, I could wait for that day.


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See You Again

It’s very excited to see you tonight. We have been separated for a year. Though the distances of our cities isn’t very long or we have enough time to travel, we are just like losing contact. I miss you every day. For some reasons, I thought it’s not proper to call you frequently. I was completely wrong. Because just now you told me that you expected the phone calls all the time. I’m sad for not understanding you. I’m sorry for that. But I’m happy that you still need me in your mind.

For me, there are two different pieces of news tonight. Good news is that you come to the city which I’m currently in. We are so lucky! And bad news is that you got married and held the wedding several days ago. That day came at last. I’m just not willing to hear of it.

You know what? When you appeared in front of me suddenly, I didn’t recognize you. I couldn’t believe it’s true even when you hugged me softly. I didn’t believe that you would get to me right here, right now. Holding your shoulders, touching your hair and feeling your breath, I found it’s really you. The body and your smile are still familiar to me. I was not dreaming.

Thanks to the microblog service. Just a comment after I posted a sentence that told I was drinking in a bar, we got in touch again. We went together to that bar for many times. You must remember that. After you left more than a year ago, I still went there at times. But without you, I just drowned my sorrows in wine. I always want to tell you that I miss you.

Finally, tonight, you run to me. We seated by the river and talked out of our minds. We know we still care about each other. We can still feel the other’s heart. When you talked, I just gazed at your eyes and touched your hair. I could feel your feelings.

I was clear that you was not mine and you had to return. So I was sober that I didn’t hold you in my arms and stopped you leaving. When you left for the hotel, you turned around to see me again. I knew you didn’t want to leave me, either. But for tomorrow, we had to control ourselves. I knew you wished I could hold your hand and hugged you tightly. Sorry. We both knew I couldn’t.

For tomorrow and the days after tomorrow, I only wish you happiness full of your life. And I took a picture of the place where we met. It will be my beautiful memory.


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Never Talk about Politics

Last month, China’s authorities arrested six men who talked about current affairs on the Internet. According to the official notice, they spread rumors on the microblog sites. It’s against the law and harms national security. So they will be proceeded against by the nation and may go to jail. Meanwhile, the government ordered the two top microblog sites suspended the comment function for three days.

We don’t know how they will be punished. But we can make sure of one thing. This action tells us again that never try to talk about politics. Concerning national affairs, we should maintain a high degree of unity with the Party. We can’t laugh at politics.

If you live here, you should live far away from the politics. That’s not your business. It’s out of your control. Cherish your freedom if you don’t want to lose freedom. Your freedom is not your own freedom. It’s presented by the government. And the government can take the freedom back at any time.

So please be submissive.

Life and work are what you should pay attention to. Democracy and nomocracy are unpractical somehow.


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Missing Days

I wrote one entry two months ago. But till today, I published it successfully. Because of the network problem, I couldn’t connect to the WordPress normally. The Wall stopped me.

So, from that time, I didn’t wrote any entry. I didn’t want to write entries and only keep it private. It would be wasting time. Then, as all the readers could see, my website got no update.

Today, just having a try, I downloaded a famous client. It’s just one of the clients which can help people climb the Wall. I had several of them before. But from last December, they didn’t work. Then I had no choice but to browse WordPress pages with the help of online proxy service. And that service was limited. You couldn’t post entries or manage your site there. It disappointed me so much. I had to find a really useful client.

Minutes ago, I found it. I’m happy that it really works very well. With its tunnel, browsing pages is fast and the connection between Windows Live Writer and WordPress is clear. Updates on my page will be much more.

I’m still looking for a website which is famous globally and can be used in China. Visitors who know something, please tell me.

Through this interruption, I know the importance of writing English frequently again. It must be daily work.


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Boring Holiday Hours

Last week, I took all the examinations. Thank goodness. The transport during the Spring Festival period didn’t begin at that time. So I booked a ticket from the website earlier and left the university as soon as possible. I was lucky because the trip was very smooth. Everybody knows there’re more and more passengers at the stations and in the trains when the lunar festival comes closer. People try to go home earlier for fear of trains. It’s not travelling. For passengers, it would be suffering.

Now that I got a comfortable trip, the holiday must be exciting, right? The answer is no. I have no activities. Friends and classmates have to work in the daytime. And in the evening, people are willing to stay at home. Restaurants, KTV clubs, bars and hotels, these places where we usually go, seem far away from us. Without invitations, I didn’t go out. My life becomes quietly.

Now I spend all the hours at home sleeping and surfing on the Internet. I go to sleep at dawn and get up in the afternoon. I have turned the time upside down. Time is not the limit any more. I can choose any time to do any thing.

But I expect more about the night life. I need to get some loose.

I like wine. I like barbecue.


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Foreign Festivals in China

We don’t believe in God, but we have Christmas Day. We don’t make things with pumpkins, but we have a Halloween party. We are not foreigners, but we have foreign festivals. That’s what we do in China.

Why Chinese people do these after the Reform and Opening-up? Do we forget who we originally are?

Some people consider it as culture invasion. They become worried that we will lose our original things. They are anxious.

What’s your opinion?

I don’t think so.

China is a strong country and has a large population. It’s very difficult to change the nation. Even the war can’t make it. So don’t worry.

People do the celebration for fun, while merchants do it for business. People don’t do it honestly. On the opposite, they do it on purpose. All they want is just a tool. They won’t be killed according to celebrating foreign festivals.

Don’t be surprised when you see lots of people crowed in the street on the Christmas Eve. Don’t ask a question like, “Why don’t they go home and stay with the family”. It hasn’t been what it should be when Christmas came to China.

Festivals are just festivals.