In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

First Kiss


In the last entry, I promised that I would talked about First Kiss seriously and formally. That’s true. Now, I’ll write something about what I think about that First Kiss.

While you type the two words FIRST KISS in Google, you will find many interesting things. Especially for me, a poor man who doesn’t know what kiss is. Even, it teaches how to have a first kiss.

So buddies, did you ever have a kiss?

If did, when did you have your first kiss? Whom you kissed? Where it occurred? Were you kissing or being kissed at that time? How did you feel? How it happened and continued?

If not, like me, don’t be depressed. Then do you look forward to it? Are you ready to kiss or be kissed? Is there a special someone that you want to kiss? When will you have it according to your expectation?

Sorry, so many questions. Just curious.

Why human beings kiss? How they kiss? What can kiss give them? I always think about that.

Many people around me had the first kiss, though they’re not elder than me. Sometimes, I asked them about the feeling of kissing someone or being kissed by someone when I was bored. Everyone told me his feeling. They all sounds attractive. And of course, different. Anyway, I can get a signal that the kissing process is so nice that you are eager to have it.

Is that true?

When I have it, I will be able to see whether it’s true or not. Then I can prove it, I think.

Unfortunately, I searched for some pages before writing this entry. It impressed the pictures and words on my mind. Now that I can’t say more points about this kiss, I’d like to copy some short paragraphs about kiss here. I’ll tell something meaningful once I have it. I promise.

By the way, Happy Valentine’s Day as the day comes.


If you haven’t yet experienced your first kiss, it can be a daunting challenge. For the purposes of this article, we’re going to pretend we’re all heterosexual, but apply the tips as you like!



  1. Have a mint. Make sure you are kissably fresh.
  2. Lean in and make eye contact. Lean your head on your guy’s shoulder as if you are about to fall asleep. Look up at him – if his arm goes around to let you in, go for the kiss. If not, or or he doesn’t seem to be taking things the same way you are, he might not be ready yet. Just relax for now.
  3. Look at his lips. Drop your gaze and your eyelids to half mast, then slowly, look back up at him and give him a little welcoming smile.
  4. Relax and be at ease about it. If he doesn’t go for the kiss, accept it and don’t push. Wait for another moment, either later in the date, or another time.
  5. Let him know you want to kiss. Reaching up to twine your arms around his neck, or lightly play with the hair at his neckline will let him know you are ready to get up close and personal.
  6. Take the lead. Some guys are very shy. Even those who aren’t have been drilled over and over about unwelcome touching. Consider lightly kissing him on the cheek to show him that you’re okay with touch. Guys have a reputation as being pervs, but a lot of boys worry about going too far.
  7. Invite him to kiss you. Yep, some boys really do need an engraved invitation. Let’s say you’ve tried to show him you’re ready, and he looks interested, but you just can’t get him to (A) let you kiss him, or (B) kiss you, then just ask him, "Couldn’t we just be kissing right now?" If he doesn’t kiss you then, he isn’t going to.


  1. Don’t be Shy Girls want you to kiss them. If you like a girl, tell her you love her if you didn’t tell her that yet.
  2. Have a mint. Make sure you are kissably fresh.
  3. Respect her privacy. Most girls will not want to make out in front of others, especially if this is her first kiss. Find the right time when you can be alone. Privacy is the key.
  4. Watch for signals. Watch carefully, because sometimes the signals can be confusing – she may flirt with you, then smack you on the head. These may just be coy games, or she may really be conflicted. Ask yourself these questions: Did you and your date seem to have a cozy, warm, close time together? Has she been flirting with you through body language? Has she licked her lips, or bit her lower lip while looking at you? Has she found excuses to touch you often? If you feel confident of these things, prepare to kiss!
  5. Make eye contact. If she is comfortable and doesn’t look away then she is ready.
  6. Lean in slowly. Don’t swoop in like a condor! Make it slow, nice, easy, romantic.
  7. Hold her. Do not use a first kiss as your personal excuse to grope, grab, or get too familiar. Be a gentleman, for heaven’s sake. Reach around her waist, gently draw her toward you (again, gentlemen, do not squish her up against you and then grind your pelvis against her).
  8. Look into her eyes. Notice how we mention eye contact twice? Very important, amigo. Let her know that you are really seeing her.
  9. Look at her lips. Aim, dude. Make sure you know where you’re going. Lean in, and go in for the kiss.
  10. Walk that fine line and make it a really excellent kiss. You don’t want to give her a chaste little peck. You also don’t want to (well, you may want to, but don’t!) shove your tongue down her throat. An excellent first kiss is one that is romantic, tender and memorable. Your mouth should not be overly opened or closed, and it shouldn’t be mushy or too tight (relax). Don’t let it go too long (more than, say, 20 seconds) or let it be too short (3 seconds is not enough) – think around 10 seconds or so. A tiny hint of tongue is nice if she seems willing, but make it flirtatious and not insistent.
  11. Wait for her response. Just remain silent and smile, better yet hug her, ending the first kiss in a lovely, intimate moment.



  • Keep in mind that many are shy about kissing — but this doesn’t mean they don’t want to kiss you. Pay attention to body language. If you think your someone might be suffering from this ailment, try kissing them! Just be mindful of their reaction. If they pull away, or are surprised or otherwise not interested in the kiss, be mature about it and don’t take it personally. You can try again later unless you are rebuffed flat out.
  • Carry Lip balm, or lip gloss (preferably lip balm)
  • The fastest way to have a first kiss is just to get close to the person and kiss them. Most people won’t complain. However, it is more fun if you spend an intimate evening with that person first.
  • A good way to have a first kiss is the "coward’s date" — going to a movie. Simple, but effective. Hopefully your crush will hold your hand – everyone has hormones, after all – and then you gradually get closer until you’re as close as you can be without kissing. She/he should get the message soon, and if she/he doesn’t, perhaps she/he’s just not ready.
  • If you know for a fact he wants to kiss you – for instance, he’s told your friends – but he’s just nervous, don’t be afraid to ASK him! It does work.
  • If you don’t mind having an impersonal first kiss, join in on a game of Truth or Dare. The most popular dare is to kiss someone. Be warned though: you may end up kissing someone you don’t much fancy (unless you get a friend to dare your crush to kiss you). The same is true for Spin the Bottle.
  • Avoid kissing straight-on, noses may get in the way.
  • Keep your eyes closed during a first kiss. It will be awkward to be cross-eyed looking at them while kissing. Also, it is rude to have your eyes open during a kiss. It might put the wrong message across, and make your partner think you are criticizing his kissing.
  • If you ever feel uncomfortable, then maybe it’s not the right person.
  • Do not worry about details – how much to tilt your head, when to close your eyes, how long to stay, etc. Everyone has intuition and kissing is a very intuitive activity. It will all turn out fine.
  • Don’t just kiss someone out of the blue to see what its like to kiss, have your first kiss with someone you love.



  • Make sure you don’t have any food stuck in your teeth or braces.
  • Make sure your breath smells good.
  • Watch out for mono (mononucleiosis) or HSV-1 known as oral herpes.
  • Make sure the person you are about to kiss does not have things in their teeth.
  • Keep in mind, that it might taste a bit mushy at first, but you’ll get used to it.
  • If the guy has a little beard scruff, keep kissing short – too intense, or too long, and the girl can get a "whisker burn" on her chin or around her lips – very embarrassing.
  • Don’t kiss anyone if they have a cold sore or something else around their mouth area it could be a sign of oral herpes.
  • Make sure you don’t miss their mouth, kissing their nose or eye
  • You will freak out, yes.
  • Afterwards, you will feel really good inside, and might want to do it again soon another time!
  • Don’t chew gum during a kiss, you don’t want it to go in to her mouth!
  • Don’t go bragging to everyone next day, that you just kissed a cute girl. Keep it quiet, keep it special. Keep it YOUR special first kiss. Tell a few mates, but don’t go into details. Only you alone were there, and you should keep it that way.
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    Author: jleecute

    a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

    5 thoughts on “First Kiss

    1. No, you didn\’t read the entry carefully. I didn\’t.

    2. so you got your first kiss?so nice

    3. 呵呵,节日快乐

    4. expecting~~ my 1st Kiss ^^I think it will be so fascinating …

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