In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

Hiding Home


This long National Day holiday, I don’t go out for a trip but hide myself at home. I had many plans before. But at last, when the holiday came, I had to choose to stay at home.

I meant to get back to Beijing for spending this long holiday. But for a well-known reason, when I was aware that I didn’t need to do overtime work and had free time to travel, I couldn’t get the ticket. The reason is, too many people choose to travel in this holiday, especially by train. Meanwhile, numbers of tickets are limited. Tickets to Beijing are more difficult to get. It’s impossible that all of buyers get the tickets. Without the ticket, I had to stay where I was. For me, currently, it’s not wise to travel by air. It’s very important for me to economize my salaries. I believe that years later I’ll be able to travel by plane at any time.

I still remember that I said many times that I would get back to Beijing this October when I was about to graduate and leave my university. I said it to my friends; I said it to the city of Beijing; I said it to myself. Now all of these just seems like a lie. I didn’t keep my word finally. Till now, I understand one couldn’t make any decision easily when he’s an adult and employed. Free can only exist within family and campus. May you understand my difficult situation.

When I was at university, I always dreamed of going home. At that time, for home was more than one thousand kilometers far away from my university, it’s not easy to get back home. I could only go home twice a year – in winter and summer holidays. But now, it’s only one hundred kilometers between home and where I work. I can often go home, even on weekends if I want. Home is not a dream any more. Now the dream has been getting back to the city where I spent university hours and always wished to live there. As time goes by, it will go daydreamy one day.

I don’t know ten years later, who we are, where we are and what will have happened among us. May by that time, I’ll have changed a lot. Everyone I know will also change a lot. I’m not sure whether I mean the same to you just like I did in the past years. I can’t imagine the relationship between us as time elapsed. The only thing I can make sure is you mustn’t be who you are now by that day.

On the earth, everything couldn’t stay what it was. Neither could we. You know what? — Something must have gone with the wind since I left.


Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

3 thoughts on “Hiding Home

  1. growing up is like people telling u to take responsibilities to everything , so when in the process of becoming an adult , you must be feeling so hard

  2. jesse,好久不见

  3. 好久没有来看你了,最近我也太忙了,好几个地方叫我去上班可是自己却一点精神都没有,不知道为什么,看到你写的这篇文章,突然在想,10年后的我会怎么样?或许会成家过得很好,或许会很落破,或许。。。。但是有一点是不会变的那就是我会变得成熟,坚强,哈,我相信我们的明天都会越来越好,因为我们一直在努力,

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