In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

Whom I Call


Telephone receiver
After making three hours’ phone call, I’m thinking whom I call. On the phone, whom I ever called; whom I am calling; and whom I will call?
For a business trip, this afternoon I checked in at a hotel in the downtown. Actually, it couldn’t be called trip. That’s because this city which I’m sent to is where I was born and grew up. It seems I am a local man. However, I’m not very familiar with the urban area of this city. In the past years, I didn’t spent much time here. I didn’t live in the downtown of this city or I’m not interested in here. Sometimes, I even think I don’t belong to this city. The difference between me and strangers is only one that I can speak the local accent. Besides, I can be a stranger, to what extence.
Now I’m sent here to do secret inspection on branches’ service quality. This is the first mission I have received after working. It’s completely new life. I doubt whether I can finish it well. This mission is hard  to me. I really hope I can finish the inspection and hand in my report to let the higher-ups satisfied. But I don’t know how to carry it on. I tried asking for some experience. But I just got little. There is nobody I can rely on. I have to do it myself.
Because of its difficulty, I became upset when I thought about tomorrow’s plan. It realy worries me. I wanted some help. At least someone who could listen to my complaint.
There’s only one computer in my room. And my roommate was using it. So I could only make a phone call. It’s free to make domestic calls in the hotel. But whom could I call? Who’s willing to feel my voice?
I began to search in my phone directories. I stared the numbers one by one. Most of them slid quickily. At last, I picked up three. And I talked to two of them on the line successfully. One was my workmate, and the other one was my university classmate. They’re both female.
I didn’t mean to call them for suggestions. I just wanted to talk.
So we chatted freely on the phone. We asked each other the recent status. We talked about the training and work. I told them my mission. We talked on many relaxed topics. And of course, my "lack-of-spouse" problem was referred.
I don’t have a girlfriend. Few people understand why. Neither do I. Even when my workmate asked me which style of grils I like best, I still said I didn’t know. I really don’t know. Even though in a class with more than one hundred people who most of them were female, I couldn’t tell whom I like best.
It’s a big problem. Having feelings for someone is completely different from being together with someone. Maybe you can date someone, but then you can’t be together. That’s the reality.
People can be fooled with sometimes. The one who you love doesn’t love you, while the one who loves you doesn’t deserve your love. This is what I always tell the world. Or some real-life factors keep you both from matching. It’s cruel, isn’t it?
Finding one to call is hard. But it will be harder when you want to find one that you match each other.
Whom I call can’t be whom I love then.
That’s life we’re facing.

Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

6 thoughts on “Whom I Call

  1. Are you a writer ? Suggest to write a book in English ?

  2. 祝福你,一定会找到适合的人!

  3. 谢谢访问。你是个好男孩,最后会有适合你的女孩出现的。感情的事情很复杂,人都需要感情,但别耽误了正事就好。一切顺其自然,多交朋友,友谊往往比 “那个” 靠得住,时间长,对吧~保重

  4. 写得好!

  5. I am coming to listen to your stories and complaint 🙂
    Your recording for current status will value a lot years later…. wish and believe you\’ll  find the Miss Right who loves u and deserves your love soon.

  6. done well,I always keep silent when facing annoyance,because I could not find whom I can pour out my heart,it\’s really hard to find a person,and sometimes something can not be told to others.So…

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