In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

Do You Know That When You’re Headed for a Breakup

11 Comments

Several minutes ago, when I browsed Yahoo! website, I found an interesting article titled Relationship Breakup Signals on the homepage. I’m not in a relationship. Neither I was. However, I regarded it as interesting and useful.

It would be very nice if someone could tell that he and his partner were headed for falling out before it happened. We all wish we could do that. According to the author of this article, we can predict a break up. And furthermore, with just a little bit of tweaking, we can get back on track and rescue our relationship before it hits the rocks.

This must be heart-stirring news. It gives us much hope. Let’s see what on earth these signals are.

Signal 1: Tuning out

One of the most common reasons that relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound mirror, but actually, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that’s accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.

The Cure: Take Down the Wall

Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner’s feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again.Start taking down the emotional wall, bit by bit. Look at your partner in the eyes when he or she speaks, make physical contact daily and re-commit to the relationship.

Signal 2: Fighting Fire with Fire

Couples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.

The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames

The next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that’s not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, "Why did you forget our date?", you could say, "I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn’t happen again?" If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don’t engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can’t fight fire with fire if the other person won’t engage in the flame-throwing.

Signal 3: Refusing to Own Up

No one is perfect. So why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.

The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions

The next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don’t try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple… But it can save your relationship.

I believe most of visitors to my space are in a relationship with someone. Maybe some of you encountered these troubles or will encounter them some day. I don’t mean to see you break up with your partner. I’m not cursing you. I just hope these above useful and could help you get out of troubles, if something wrong really happened. If our relationship can keep intact by making simple changes to the way we and our partners communicate, why don’t we make it? We can’t avoid fighting and arguing. But it is how we fight and argue that determines whether our love can weather the storm.

Briefly, we can enjoy the niceness of our beautiful love. In this case, why not make it better?

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Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

11 thoughts on “Do You Know That When You’re Headed for a Breakup

  1. 很久都没来看看了,听到这首dying in the sun,真是别有感触,在这炎炎夏日,终于明白了其中真意……

  2. It\’s really a good advise ,thank you!

  3. It is really a good space. I like it.

  4. 对呀~~:)

  5. Useful for me several hours ago.

  6. wonderful essay, shared!

  7. don\’t like the movie.
    too noisy.
    always quarrelling for no good reason.

  8. impressive statement! anyway, wonderful blog. =)

  9. so kind man!~

  10. 看到人家用中文留言我很放心的踩你脚了

  11. 分手男女中的女主角我非常喜欢,很有女人味~!如果幸福就在身边一定要发现她,并且珍惜她~不要让其擦肩而过~!

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