In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.



Sorry, everyone. I apologize if I am letting you down.

These days, I have been complaining about my situation. I made complaints about my being alone and lonely. I thought no one was concerned about me except the family. I took it for granted that I was fighting by myself. So I always seemed to be unhappy.

But now, I find that I am completely wrong. Because the fact is just the opposite.

Many a friend is concerning about me. Although they don’t always speak it out. Actually, I didn’t know it until yesterday.

It snowed yesterday, the first snow of this year. Looking at the white outside, I felt depressed. There was strong haze in the sky. It made me not able to see everything clear and then depressed me. Just at this moment, my cell phone rang. Some were sending short messages to me.

Some were thinking of me!

In the messages, I was asked about the present progress of my preparation for the Graduate Entrance Examinations. All the words showed their care and kindness. They asked me how I felt, whether I was tired and also about the situation of me. They were encouraging me and told me to COME ON. From these messages, I was deeply moved. I misunderstood your meaning during the past days.

I must say sorry to you.

I’m such a person that always have a bee in my head. I couldn’t help imagine something at times. I know that it’s not helpful. But I can’t just control myself.

So if you hadn’t been in touch with me for a long time, I would think that you were not caring about me any more. That’s funny.

Now I will change my mind. I know you are always missing me. And you are always concerning about my everything. I know that.

I’m sorry for my possibly letting you down. I won’t be.

And I won’t think more. It’s not necessary, she once said that to me.

If you are reading this entry, you must understand my feeling — I hope so.


Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

4 thoughts on “Sorry

  1. I should say that your writing is very melancholy and beautiful. I love your style.

  2. Every body experiences the same situation as yours including me, as time elapse, as you get mutured, you find it easier to get refreshed.Personally i think youself is the best doctor to heal it.Raise your head,you will find the bule  dome of the sky!The future must be filled with light!

  3. Yes, I agree.
    Come on! There must be someone waiting for you!
    We both have a nice future. I believe that.
    But if you disappear, I will be in sorrow.

  4. Friend, in my mind, is the one who shouldn`t always accompany with me.
    I always consider I am the only one I myslef can depend on, and figure no one will sorrow even I disapper except my parents.
    I said I am a abandoned girl by the world, but, I know there must have someone who missing me, conerning me, no matter who they are, no matter where they are, there must exist somebody waiting for me, maybe I even not know them, but they must be there.
    You are a sensible boy, you desever gain happy and love.
    So ,summon up!
    Both you and I will have a nice future.

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