On Thanksgiving Day, I have no plan to celebrate it. No turkeys, no pies. I just wanna thank Grandma. Thank Grandma for everything she did for me in the past twenty-one years. But when I was capable to do something for her, she chose to leave us unexpectedly. Beyond my expectation, she was gone. She could have lived with us for several more years. She could survive.
I always think that Grandma would live healthily. At least she could live 90 years. She had worked hard during most of her life. For many years, she just led a simple life. But we couldn’t hear any complaint. She hadn’t enjoyed family relationships enough. Then she was passed away.
What life is, what sorrow is. If possible, I hope I had left the world instead of Grandma.
I can’t give Grandma a luxury life, but I can let her happy. I can let her feel that we are with her together. And I can also give her mental support. Some on the earth are concerned about her life. So Grandma, why don’t you give me a chance to live with you and take care of you one more time?
Today is the first anniversary of Grandma’s death. Grandma has been away from us for twelve whole months. Within these months, I often dream of Grandma at night. I dream of Grandma talking to me. I dream of Grandma smiling to me. But when I wake up, I can’t see Grandma. I realize that Grandma has left us.
Till now, I don’t know the reason why Grandma left us. I know few of the details. Maybe Dad didn’t tell me a lot about it because they didn’t want me to be so sad. They just told me that they had do their best. Now all these details have no meanings. I won’t run for the details. I just hope Grandma left us quietly and painlessly.
Grandma didn’t leave me many real things for memorizing. What I cherish here is only a blurred picture captured by a web camera two years ago. In the picture, Grandma smiles happily.
I’m not sure of the existence of heaven. If heaven does exist, I hope Grandma enjoyed herself there. And there could be flowers in full bloom. Living with flowers as companions, Grandma must be happy.
Grandma, I miss you!
Tonight, I wanna cry.