In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

A Sensible Man



I am a man who thinks a lot of being rational during my life. I like philosophy, because of dialectic thinking; I like maths, because of accurate calculation. I like science and knowledge. So I always regard me as a rational man. And I am proud of this narcissistic title. But now, I find that I am a sensible man eventually. A man of two different characters, that sounds unbelievable!

But it’s the fact. Or you can say I am an emotional person.

Once one of my female friends told me her own criterions of being a real man. "A man should be expansive and generous. He must have long views and great ambitions. He doesn’t need to care about trifles. Otherwise, he would be a sissy." She said. I know what she said make sense. But I just couldn’t be one like that. Because I think life of this kind is imperfect.

I’m afraid of graduation and holidays. I have a nice school report each semester. But I still want the final not to come. Why? When a term ends up, we begin our holidays at home. That is to say, I will be not able to see my classmates and teachers for one or two months. But I do miss them. A month seems too long to me. What’s more, after graduation, most of schoolmates won’t meet again till they are all old. It’s cruel. So I look depressed sometimes while in holidays.

For people I care a lot, I always have them in mind. I look forward to their faces and voices very much. I want to see them anytime and anywhere. I know it’s impossible. I still dream about this.

And I have a country sickness. For being homesick, every summer or holiday I live home as long as possible. Then I would have more time to spend with my family. However, I have to return to school when a new term begins.

So every time when parting happens, I tell myself a fact, every story has a final. It could comfort me a little, maybe.

I fear of having feelings for someone. Presently I’m a man without love. I expect love. Meanwhile I daren’t fall in love. I know that we will leave each other one day. Unless there is a miracle between us. Your being my confidante is a miracle, may I wish another miracle happens? I have always been dreaming of you every night. What will be the next step?

That’s what a sensible man worries about. Not only himself, but also one deep inside of him.

And it seems no substitution yet.



Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

3 thoughts on “A Sensible Man

  1. See you again,Jesse!!
    Can you add me on your contact. (My computer can not add anny contact on my MSN list.)
    My E-Mail is 
    Thaks for told me that my English is very well,you too.

  2. Hi …. *
    Thanks for your comment on my blog.
    I am Thai,so my English is not very well.
    But I want to try…to learn more.
    Could you help me to do this?
    It\’s so easy,just you and me become to be friend.
    I wanna know more about yourself.
    Could you mind,if I invite you to be my contact on MSN?
    Please visit to my blog and tell me.
    Thanks again.
    P.S. My name is Khuan, 21 years.

  3. Thank you for visiting.
    Have a nice day. 

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