In This Life

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.



Please lady, please, lady, don’t just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won’t you share a part of a weary heart
that has lived a million lies

   I just listen to this song ceaselessly and introspect. I know that I’ve never been to me.
   But I don’t know why. Just because some sentences someone talked to me, I thought a lot. Actually, that is none of my business. However, I have gotten myself into two other people’s love game. I saw a lot of things that I shouldn’t have seen. I said a lot of things that I shouldn’t have said. And I thought a lot of things that I shouldn’t have thought. How can I do that? I have made myself out of control tonight.
   That’s my fault, YY.
   I’m very sorry for that. I didn’t mean to do that.
   Once I was proud of my maturity and nous. Right now I found that it’s a big joke. People and the environment around me are changing every day. We can’t know what will happen tomorrow. I consider this world as too ideal. On the contrary, it couldn’t be perfect. I’m so naive.
   I couldn’t help asking myself what all these things mean. As a outlier, I have no right to ask her what to do or what not to do.  That’s her business. She can handle it well. No sorry, no interpretation for me.
   Whatever, I am a stander-by.
   Like you said, I should be pleased for your choice.
   But I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you.

Author: jleecute

a native Chinese man who wants to know the world better -------- We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopeless is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

2 thoughts on “Introspection

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  2. …the perplexity of your feelings and thoughts, expressed so openly.Sometimes I think the world’s  too ideal, or rather that I’m too ideal.The wonderful thing with naivety, I think, is that every experienceone undergoes at that time resonates more profoundly, especiallywith understanding oneself and others, and revealing a truth that,maybe, one could not see before.
    I hope all will be well in your heart.

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